


The Last Dance

by britishbossy



Category: Victoria (Jenna Coleman), Victoria (TV 2016), Victoria (itv)
Genre: F/M, Goodbyes, Pining, Sad, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 01:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8349976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishbossy/pseuds/britishbossy
Summary: Victoria and Lord Melbourne share one last dance before she leaves with her husband. Lord M point of view.





	

You talk to Emma but her words barely reach you. Your mind keeps drifting off to the image of the queen and how beautiful she looked today. Her dress, the flowers in her hair, which had not been form your greenhouses even though you would have given them to her instantly like you have given her all of you. The way she looked at her husband like she used to look at you was enough to make your chest tighten until you felt like suffocating and you focused on the sword you were holding, its weight not coming close to the heavieness you feel inside your heart. She smiled at you back then and you did your best to return it but you found that you could not, so you raised your eyebrows instead. You have lost her. She is a married woman now. And you still cannot quite believe that this is the last day you will ever see her. You do not feel ready, you doubt that you will ever be.

A manservant stands before you and pulls you back to the moment. You look up.

“The queen wishes to see you, my lord.“

 

It feels like eternity and like a matter of seconds altogether when you walk down the corridor towards the terrace where she is waiting for you. You stop briefly before approaching her, making sure she has not noticed your presence yet and look at her fully once more. She has changed her dress, it is less glamorous but still as white as snow. She is holding her hat in her hands, ready to put it on and leave. Leave.

You feel another stab to your heart before you command your feet to move and you walk up to her. She turns her head and you sink to your knee before you can see her eyes. You kiss her hand gently, lingering for a moment, knowing that it will be the last time. When you get up you find her giving you the most gentle look before she places her hat upon the balustrade and holds her hands out towards you. You reach for her and look at her questionally. It is rather chilly out here but the wind is nothing but a soft breeze. Her hands are warm in yours, neither of you wearing gloves. It feels so intimate, so close.

“Since this is goodbye would you do me the honour of one last dance, Lord M?“

You blink. She wishes to dance with you on her wedding day, outside on the terrace with no music and no decent dance floor beneath your feet. You stop yourself from looking around for anyone who might be watching you because you remember that she is a married woman now and that most people are satisfied with the situation as it is. So is she. Her very being seems to be shining, delighted. Victoria has found the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with and you feel so happy for her because it is all you ever wanted; for her to be happy. And yet, this is your goodbye. You know that much and you have accepted that much but it still hurts.

Her soft fingertips stroking your hands bring you back to the moment.

“Right here?“, you ask, giving her an amused smile. Only she could come up with such an idea. She does not answer, only steps closer to you, her hand finding your shoulder. You do not stop her.

“We have no music.“

“We do not need music“, she places her free hand on your chest and your mouth opens as you draw breath but you do not say anything.

“We shall go with the heartbeat“, she explains and all you can do is nod as your hand places itself in the middle of her back, pulling her in. It is a bad idea, you know that. It is rather ridiculous, really and you will have to be very careful not to give yourself away in that moment. As you begin to move you feel her pulling herself closer to you, closer than it is appropriate and your breath is utterly held when you feel her resting her head against your collarbone. Your other hand is holding hers which is still resting on your chest, right above your heart, both of you feeling it swelling and collapsing over and over again and so hard that it nearly hurts. You are swaying gently but you are way too close for a proper waltz. This is not the way the queen is supposed to dance with her prime minister. It is more of a way a wife would dance with her husband in private. But still, you are holding her close, smelling her perfume, feeling her warmth and soon there is no space left between her and you. Her body is practically resting against yours and you think about how scandalous it would be, were you discovered. What would the prince say? As if sensing your upcoming panic, she whisperes:

“Thank you, Lord M.“

Her breath dissolves on the skin of your neck and you supress a shiver. You imagine yourself stealing her away on this very instant. To bring her far far away from her husband and claim her as yours.

“For what, ma'am?“, you breath and you hear her sigh against you. It will be your undoing.

She does not stop while her hand is drawing small circles on your shoulder.

“Everything. Thank you for your unwavering trust in me. Thank you for all those years that you were by my side.“

She is saying goodbye to you and there is nothing you can do but let her continue, the very sound of her voice the only music you will ever need for this last dance. You are pretty sure that you will never dance again from this day on because it can never be the way you danced with her. She keeps thanking you and your legs start to feel weak and you clench your jaw for control. She feels it, of course she does and she lifts her head to look at you. Her blue eyes catch you completely off guard and you are absolutely sure that you are going to drown in them. You know you would die a happy man.

“Thank you for being my companion“, she mutters so quietly it is almost unheard and her breath washes over your lips and you have to close your eyes for a moment to recall yourself. When you open them again, you have stopped moving but she is still in your arms, still so close to you that you can see a few small brown dots in the blue of her eyes. Schooling yourself not to look at her lips you hear yourself ask: “May I kiss the bride?“

She smiles brightly at you and turns her head the slightest bit. You find yourself lean in slowly and your lips are about to touch her cheek, your eyes already closing when she suddenly turns her head and your lips land on her mouth instead. Quite shocked, you try to pull back, but her hand on your shoulders stops you from doing so. She is leaning into you, kissing you back with closed lips. You feel yourself dying right there. Her lips feel soft against yours, as soft as the petals of the orchids you keep growing for her, her scent surrounding you so clearly that you don't notice anything else. All too soon she pulls away but you cannot make yourself move, nor open your eyes. It such a wonderful moment and you don't want it to end. When you feel her right hand leave your shoulder to place itself on your cheek instead your eyes open to find her staring up at you in awe. Her hand is stroking your cheek and you cannot help but lean into her touch, your thumb stroking her left hand rested upon your chest. You feel delighted in that moment, happy.

Her mouth is open but you can see that she cannot think of the right words and neither can you, you don't want to. Any word could break this moment between you and your holding it off as long as you can. Eventually, she speaks, her hand warm against your skin.

“You once told me that when I gave my heart I would give it without reservation“.

You have to swallow and your eyes drop to your feet for a second as you remember the day you turned her away.

“Yes, I remember.“

She smiles brightly.

“And you were almost right.“

“Almost, ma'am?“, you ask, even though you know exactly what she is talking about you need to hear it from her for one last time. And she does not dissapoint you.

“I shall never forget.“

After one last caress to your cheek, she lets go of you. You return her smile as she takes a step to the balustrade, taking her hat. She is facing the corridor but before she leaves, she turns to you once more.

“Goodbye, Lord M“.

“Goodbye, ma'am“.

As you watch her leave you feel your heart shattering completely but in the warmth of her lips still lingering on yours you find the strength to smile.

 


End file.
